Love and Hate: Athletes in Commercials

There is nothing worse than getting older. One of the inevitable side-effects of getting older is watching your favorite athletes exit their sport. Sometimes, the way in which they leave is bad enough. However, it doesn't end there. One of aging's cruelest jokes is the retired-athlete endorsed commercial. They are just awful. With the exception of a few gems, the world of awful athlete ads is filled with awesome awfulness. Did I mention they are awful? Here's a few examples to really drive my point home.

Troy Aikman and Hulk Hogan(as if that isn't awful enough):

Still not getting it yet? That's fine. There is much to display, Kimosabe. Let us continue.

Emmitt Smith, Keith Hernandez and Walt Frasier(I'm sorry it had to come to this):

It gets even worse when they do the local ads. This next one hurts me deep in the core of my being. It's bad enough if you retire prematurely. Then you go and own a Honda dealership, that's fine. You didn't have to go and be in the commercial. I'll try to remember you as you were Barry.

Barry Sanders(I can't watch):

The least you could do is try and be somewhat classy in your endorsement endeavors. There are few ads, in which retired athletes are required to speak, that go well. It is usually more of a reflection on the company, not the athlete, if the athlete does poorly. I vote to end it all together, retired-athlete endorsements. However, I feel as if it may never end. So, if you're going to do it anyway, please do it something like this.

Charles Barkley:

Yes! There you go. Admit that you are ridiculous, and continue. Don't try to be serious. You are an athlete, obviously not an actor. So, play on that, and we can all live in peace. Don't even get me started on Aaron Rodgers' ads. That's a thesis, not of appropriate length for this discussion.

If it's not the same caliber of an endorsement as you were as a player, just don't do it. Please, don't do it.